The beaded, decorative "rat tails" of our early 90s youth......have evolved into something more disturbing, in certain circles.
Have you ever met someone with a rat tail?
Was it in the past decade?
Lauren and I have, and he was trying to date our beautiful friend. He was a dirty urban hipster rat tail-er, trying to be ironic, one must suppose. Little did he know that even dirty urban hipsters must follow the unwritten girl logic that states a male, when trying to hook up with a girl, must suck up to her girl friends.
Dirty urban hipster did not suck up to the Laurs, and in fact accused us of being elitist at the bar where we first met him. Lauren's well-intentioned story of trying to brainwash her officemate into expecting a vitamin every time her computer start-up noise chimed (Pavlovian dog-style) apparently hit a nerve with dirty urban hipster. He must have been bullied in middle school? I'm still not sure how our enjoyment of psychological experiments makes us "elitist," but our time of accepting Mr. Rat Tail was done, and we instead amused ourselves by making up a song, complete with hand gestures, about his wispy hair ornament.
Ode to a Rat Tail
Its nose is pink and shiny
It has a rat heinie
A RAT has a RAT TAIL
A RAT has a RAT TAIL
(Song is available on request in person.)
Our beautiful friend did not date Mr. Rat Tail. Chicks over dicks. The end.
Rat Tail should have known better than to mess with the Laurs! Our elitism manifests itself in songs that last longer than his wanna-be fling with our friend. Let his story be a cautionary tale to all!
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